


in the dark of the night

by youandmeinlove



Series: forever you are [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), But also like...in my universe Eddie lives, Canon Compliant, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak-centric, First Kiss, Fluff, Fuck you Steven King I play by my own rules, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Introspection, Kissing, Love Confessions, M for language, M/M, Pennywise happened but like he's not actually in this, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Stanley Uris is a Good Friend, dumb gays, not smut but its leading up to it, they're 18 here, they’re so in love man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:34:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21651367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youandmeinlove/pseuds/youandmeinlove
Summary: All the Losers were close as any friends could be following the final battle but Richie and Eddie became inseparable. Barely a night went by in the following 5 years where Richie wouldn’t sneak into Eddie’s bedroom to sleep.It was perfectly innocent.Until it wasn't.This is very much an introspective Eddie Kaspbrak being an angsty little gay but he may get some *ahem* action at the end so don't worry too much.NOW MULTICHAPTER
Relationships: (mentioned) - Relationship, Bill Denbrough & Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: forever you are [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1572712
Comments: 12
Kudos: 224





	1. one

Eddie Kaspbrak knew he was gay when he was 6 years old. Mommy had invited a woman from her sewing class to dinner and she had brought her 15-year-old son. When Eddie was introduced to the boy he hadn’t been able to stop blushing and hiding his face and he’d felt a small flutter in his chest.

Of course he didn’t realise at the time what this meant, all he knew was he liked staring at the boy. He liked it a LOT. His little crush on Johnny didn’t last very long but it was the jump off place for many small childhood crushes. He started to notice things he liked about boys. He liked how male actors in the romantic movies his mother would watch on Friday nights were strong, brave and muscular. But he did prefer the stereotypical nerdy, scrawny kid with an odd charm. 

The day he started elementary was the day he had met the reason his heart hadn’t stopped pounding in his chest for the last 11 years, Richie Tozier. He didn’t know why but he was instantly drawn to Richie. He was a loud kid (he was a loud 18 year old) and by all accounts had been the most annoying person Eddie had ever met. 

Yet when he’d returned home after his first day at school, it hadn’t been the scary ass headmasters rundown on the punishment any misbehaving kid would receive if they put one step out of line that he thought of that night in bed, nor was it Bowers pelting insult after insult towards him at recess, nor was it the disgusting school cafeteria which was probably INFESTED with about every germ you could imagine. 

No. What kept Eddie up that night was the way Richie Tozier, the skinny kid with huge glasses, eccentric fashion sense and the attention span of a goldfish, had flashed a grin at Eddie the second he saw him. Later on in life Eddie had realised that it’d felt as though Richie instantly knew him, as if he’d always known him and not even just in this lifetime. It was like they’d met in a hundreds and hundreds of different bodies, been hundreds of versions of themselves, yet had managed to find each other in every last one. 

7-year-old Eddie couldn’t comprehend this of course. 

7-year-old Eddie was too busy blushing thinking about the way Richie’s chocolate brown eyes had glittered when he looked at him, the way his hands even then were strong and purposeful when he patted Eddies shoulder when he Bill and Stan had played tag together. The protective tone in his voice when he’s told Bowers “Go fuck yourself” when he’d called Eddie a “fairy boy”. 

Eddie never would have admitted it but he was touched that Richie stood up for him even then. Even when Eddie was practically a stranger, Richie was looking out for him. He was a shithead, especially as a kid, but he was a damn good friend not only to Eddie but also to Bill and Stanley (and later to Mike, Ben and Beverly.)

He was sensitive - despite what he wanted the world to believe. He hid that side of him with sarcasm and dick jokes but his real friends knew he was a big softie. Eddie especially. When he was alone with Eddie he could be fucking adorable. He cared a hell of a lot and showed it in any way he could. Eddie would just about melt every time. 

Eddie however did what any other young boy with a crush would do. Pushed down his feelings and screamed at Richie at any opportunity. Which worked in his favour as the more Eddie borderline bullied Richie the more attention he paid him and Eddie secretly adored it. He felt special. Richie teased everyone he ever met it was true. But Eddie was the only one who’s cheeks he pinched, the only one he called “cute, cute, cute”, the only one he gave ridiculous pet names to. The only one he put he arm around jokingly when they went to the movies together. It was pretty thrilling. 

After the summer of ‘89 the dynamic between them changed. There was still that teasing edge to their friendship but it felt different now somehow. Almost being murdered together by a killer clown seems to force a bond or some shit. Fancy that! 

All the Losers were close as any friends could be following the final battle but Richie and Eddie became inseparable. Barely a night went by in the following 5 years where Richie wouldn’t sneak into Eddie’s bedroom to sleep. 

It was perfectly innocent. 

They both suffered from terrible night terrors and having someone else with them seemed to help. Eddie’s nightmares mainly consisted of the leper, touching his skin, breathing on his neck, licking his face with its diseased tongue... and those are the nicest dreams. 

The worst dreams Richie is there, it always starts out normal. Richie’s next to him laughing at some dumb joke he’s told and Eddie laughs and tells him he’s annoying, the butterflies are there too. 

(Of course they are, its _Richie_ )

Then Richie leans in closely and at first Eddie will feel a fire in his heart, overjoyed at their closeness. Until he looks into those ordinary kind, lovable eyes to find they are yellow, bloodshot and angry. 

_“Who could ever want you,”_ It’ll sneer unkindly. “ _Who could ever love you? You’re a filthy and disgusting boy!”_

It’ll push Eddie down and sometimes it chokes him, other times (worse times) it’ll claw at its own face, at _Richie’s_ face, his beautiful smooth skin distorting with disease and decay. Sometimes blood drops from a single eye, like a teardrop, Richie’s body will convulse and collapse and Eddie will be choking on sobs, desperately trying to revive him. Begging for him to be saved, begging for their places to be switched, for it to take him instead. But he never can. 

So when he wakes up with Richie stroking his hair, soothing him, telling him that “Its ok Eds it’s a dream you’re safe Eds. I’m here” he instantly relaxes into a more peaceful sleep. 

He needs him there. 

He believes Richie needs him too. 

And so here they are, 18 years old, three weeks left of high school, side by side in Eddie’s bed once again. Richie curled up like a cat, all limbs and hair twitching in what Eddie recognises as contentment. 

Eddie himself is wide-awake and staring at the ceiling. He sighs, willing himself to relax into his pillows and let sleep take him. But he just can’t. Today has been normal he guesses, as far as days go. But recently there’s been an air of sadness surrounding him. He doesn’t have long now till all the Losers go off to college.

So today they had been in the clubhouse after school, sans Bev who was in Bangor for her aunt’s 50thbirthday party. 

They were sharing the hammock. They were almost too big to fit inside it these days, even individually, but they still shared it the majority of the time they spent in the clubhouse. Richie was brushing Eddie’s ankle as he read his comic with one hand which, was normal he’d done that since he was a kid. But this time, though he probably didn’t realise he was doing it, he would occasionally stroke higher absently caressing up to his shin and even briefly his bare thigh. 

Eddie was, to put it lightly, in his own personal hell. 

It felt too good, he felt too affected. Richie’s fingers always drove him wild, they were long and thick and large and Eddie’s mind was seemingly in the gutter as he pictured those fingers, those hands caressing elsewhere on his body…

He had to concentrate super hard, thinking of disease and famine to prevent an awkward _‘I’m-like-super-fucking-hard-because-my-best-friend-since-elementary-is-slightly-brushing-my-leg’_ moment. 

“Hey Dickheads,” Stan had sarcastically aimed at the pair. “The rest of us would like a go in the hammock one of these days.”

“Fuck you Uris,” Richie had shot back instantly, not looking up from his graphic novel. “You’re just jealous I get to have Kaspbrak all up on me.”

He had been fucking around of course, he was never serious when he talked like that, but it made Eddie flush nonetheless, even deeper when his fingers rested on Eddies thigh again unconsciously. Eddie had called him an asshole (in a stutter that would’ve put Big Bill to shame) and kicked his book in mock anger, but Richie had just smiled sweetly, genuinely, back at him in that charming, pleased way he always looked when he was content, causing Eddie to feel like butterflies were lining his chest. He was so fucked. 

Richie whined in his sleep, pulling Eddie out of his turmoil. He looked at his best friend, checking for any sign of night terrors, but none of the tell tale signs (sweat, frowning, hands clawing at the sheets) appeared on his face. Eddie took the opportunity to admire him. Take him in, while he still could. They would only have a few more weeks of this and then…

Richie sighed in his sleep, his eyelids flickering. Eddie smiled fondly down at him. He looked younger in his sleep, a sweet innocence in his pouting lips and twitching nose. He’d grown a lot over the past year. Eddie loved his broad shoulders, his long limbs, and his skinny frame.

He was beautiful. 

At least that’s how Eddie saw him. He knew he loved him at this point. He’d felt it since he met him quite frankly but had only acknowledged the fact since THAT summer. 

The trouble was he had no clue whether Richie even liked boys. Richie was the kind of guy who was comfortable being openly flirty with ANYONE. So it was literally impossible to tell when he was serious. And if he liked boys, there was no guarantee _Eddie_ would be his first choice. Maybe Richie thought of him as a kid brother, the way he knew Bill thought of him.

Stanley, who was Eddie’s only confidant, had made it abundantly clear that he thought that was bullshit and that Richie _was_ in love with Eddie. 

“It’s so fucking obvious Eddie.” He’d groaned with frustration on one of their many long angsty phone calls about their pathetic crushes. (Stanley had it BAD for Bill.) “You’re both fucking idiots and I’m sick of both your shit” Or something along those lines.

Eddie could say the same thing to Stan.

Eddie only realises he’s been stroking his hand through Richie’s hair when he feels the other boy stir. He can’t bring himself to stop though, it feels too soft, too calming and on impulse, Eddie leans down to tenderly kiss Richie’s smooth forehead.

Richie makes a satisfied sigh and Eddie, who has remained close to his face, watches as he stretches, yawns, then slowly blinks open those gorgeous brown eyes.

It takes Richie a second to register that Eddie is even _there_ , let alone that he is hovering over him. When his eyes adjust though, Richie seems taken aback by their closeness, gasping slightly, his eyes darting around Eddie’s face.

“Eds?” His voice is gruff with sleep and he doesn’t sound all together awake, still in somewhat of a dreamlike state. He looks like a deer in headlights, cute and ruffled and boyish.

(Shit, Eddie loves him so much.)

“Hey.” Eddie smiles down at him, probably too affectionately, too transparent. But right now he can’t find it in himself to care. He braves brushing a stray hair off Richie’s forehead and doesn’t miss how his pupils dilate when he does it.

Richie licks his lips and Eddie feels his pulse quicken.

What does he have to lose? Richie would move away in a few weeks, if he rejected him Eddie could avoid him all summer… and while that would hurt, at least he’d know where they stood.

He decides to test the waters and slowly leans in again to kiss the same spot on Richie’s forehead, this time lingering. Richie gasps in a shaky inhale, and before Eddie knows it, Richie’s hand is gripping the back of Eddie’s neck.

They’re close, foreheads touching their breaths mingling. Eddie knows he’s shaking. _It’s now or never Kaspbrak._

The thing is he feels like now he’s mustered up courage he doesn’t know where to begin.

Does he kiss him?

Tell him he likes him?

Tell him he wants him more than he’s wanted anything on this planet?

Tell him he’s the love of his life and that he will never find anyone like him, not even if he searched for a thousand years?

The words just aren’t coming to him… but as always Richie saves him.

“Want to kiss you.” He says it in a low, nervous half-whisper, the hand on Eddie’s neck shaking as he pulls Eddie closer and closer.

When their lips meet, finally Eddie feels at home. Home isn’t this house with his neurotic mother and it certainly it isn’t fucking Derry, Maine. Home is Richie.

_RichieRichieRichie._

Richie has his arms around Eddie’s waist, holding him so tight; as if he fears Eddie will balk if he lets go. His lips are warm and perfect against his. Desperate and firm and loving all at once and Eddie is in heaven.

His own hands cup Richie’s cheeks, cherishing the softness of his skin, cherishing the feeling of their chests pressed together, hearts beating as one.

He moans into the kiss and Richie deepens it in response, his enthusiasm increasing rapidly.

Eddie is delighted to feel Richie grow hard below him. _Good,_ he thinks, _I’ve been hard all day you motherfucker._

Removing one hand from Richie’s cheek, he slowly begins to stroke down his body. Relishes in the feeling of those shoulders, the muscles in his chest, pushes up his shirt to stroke the bare skin there eliciting a agonised moan that makes Eddie’s dick twitch. He smiles wickedly against Richie’s lips before dragging his hand lower still, rubbing at the thin material of Richie’s pyjama bottoms.

Richie all but cries out at that, but is muffled by Eddie kissing him harder, longer, desperate to progress. He’s wanted this since he realised he had a sex drive. Wanted Richie for even longer.

“Eds,” Richie pulls back suddenly but remains close, his arms still around Eddie languorously rubbing up and down his back. “You gotta tell me this means something to you. Cause if this is just you experimenting, I don’t think I can bear it.”

Eddie frowns, does Richie really think Eddie is THIS desperate for a fuck that he’d risk their friendship. He almost laughs, until he sees how agonised Richie looks. How scared he is that Eddie is just using him.

“Rich...” He whispers, ghosting his lips against his. “I love you. I’m in love with you.”

And with that, those lips are on him again and Richie is flipping them. He pulls back to kiss down Eddie’s neck, sucking, leaving a mark in a place that will probably be impossible to hide, but right now Eddie couldn’t give less of a shit.

“God,” Richie groans as he pulls Eddies shirt off. Eddie whimpers as he does the same to his sleep shorts. “I love you so much Eds. More than anything.”

And then he’s diving down and before Eddie can say another word, Richie’s mouth is around him and words fail.


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie saying “I love you” to each other for one chapter straight 
> 
> I finished writing this chapter at 4:41am that’s why it’s so specific lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to make this two chapters because I wanted to give them more of a romantic moment in this fic so I hope you enjoy. This is pure fluff and I am Reddie trash goodnight. Also this is not proof read at all so take it with a pinch of salt.

It’s 4:41 AM and Richie’s lips haven’t left Eddie’s four hours. They’re still naked, covered by Eddie’s fucking duckie blanket his aunt got him at 5 years old. Richie finds this hilarious , laughing between slow passionate kisses at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

He’s so fucking happy. 

If Eddie’s blissful little signs and hands still eagerly stroking up and down Richie’s back are anything to go by, Eddie is fucking happy too. 

“Tell me again...” Richie whispers against Eddie’s lips. 

“Tell you,” Eddie kisses Richie twice between words. “What?”

“That you love me.” 

Eddie rolls his eyes so hard it hurts. He’s said those three words more times than he can count at this point , but Richie seems to need the fact reiterated every 5 minutes. Eddie kinda gets it. Hearing that the boy he’s never stopped loving feels the same way is a total turn on. 

“I love you, you attention seeking barf bag.” Eddie snaps with no heat. He’s smiling and Richie glows in response. 

“Aww babe, is that my new pet name? You name all of your boyfriends after bodily fluids?” 

Richie says the words teasingly but he freezes once he realises what he’s said. Boyfriend. He looks terrified he’s crossed a line, which is kinda ridiculous since they’ve had sex, confessed their undying love for each other and kissed every inch of each other’s bodies. 

“Eds.... I...” Richie starts, fear still evident in his voice. But Eddie cuts him off, needing to ease his poor boys mind. 

“Nah baby, my newest boyfriend is kinda a colossal bonehead and deserves to be named that and worse.” 

Eddie leans in and kisses Richie lingeringly. 

“But he’s made me come three times tonight so maybe I’ll forgive him, just this once.” Eddie finishes with a small wink and an unreadable emotion crosses Richie’s face. It’s somewhere between moved, startled and deeply amused, which Eddie decides is perfectly “Richie”. He leans in and kisses Eddie deeper than before, allowing his hands to wander yet again. 

Eddie gasps against his lips as his hand slides up his thigh tantalisingly. 

“Does my boyfriend like that?” Richie whispers wickedly, a huge grin gracing his face. Eddie nods without any hint of embarrassment, it feels too good to put up a cool and collected act. 

He pretty much threw himself at Richie last night .... tonight? He’s lost track of time. The point is Richie must know he has it ridiculously bad for him. He’s told him he loves him more times tonight that Eddie has probably ever heard anyone say to anyone in his life. 

The truth is it’s always been Richie. Since the moment he met him. He wonders when Richie started to like him that way. He decides he really has to know. 

“R-Rich,” he stutters as Richie’s ministrations of Eddie’s body continue. 

“Yeah, baby?” 

Baby. 

Eddie about melts. 

“When did you start liking me? I mean like in that way?”

Richie looks sheepish for a second, not able to meet Eddie’s eye. Eddie kisses his cheek in a sort of reassurance and Richie relaxes considerably. 

“The truth Eds?” He finally meets Eddie’s eye and not for the first time Eddie is overwhelmed by how attracted he is to his best friend. He’s not classically handsome by societal standards but he is beautiful in a way that takes all the breath out of Eddie’s lungs. 

He finally manages to nod a response to Richie, swallowing hard, overwhelmed. 

“Before we officially met, you came into the dentists office with Sonia. Dad was working late so Mom had made me bring him some dinner in a sack lunch. And I walked through the reception and saw you and your mom sitting there. Sonia was ranting on about how all your teeth would fall out if you even thought about taking a peppermint candy from the jars they had on the desk and you looked so grumpy and so fucking cute and you had my fucking heart, Eddie. Even then.” 

Richie is blushing furiously as he recounts the memory and Eddie feels like his heart is going to escape his chest. When he’s done Richie is watching Eddie’s face carefully. It’s as if he wonders if he’s gone too far. 

Eddie feels tears prick in the corner of his eyes and before Richie can say another word, he smashes their lips together, passionate and forceful. The surprised whine Richie makes at the contact will stay in his memory forever. 

When they finally part, Eddie is still cupping Richie’s face, unwilling to stop touching him for even a second. 

“I love you Rich, I always have.” 

Richie smiles sappily, before lying back, pulling Eddie so he’s resting on his bare chest and holds Eddie close to him, kissing his hairline. 

Eddie closes his eyes and breathes him in. He can almost imagine they’re not in his childhood room with his mom in the next room. That Richie won’t have to climb out the window before 6:30. He imagines they’re older and this is their bed that they share every night. They’re far from Derry and no one cares that they’re two guys and they’re still ridiculously and hopelessly in love even if they’re at the phase where everything is stupidly domestic and they both have important jobs and bills, groceries to buy and housework to do. He decides this will be the case. He’s hardly going to love Richie any less now they’re official. He’s been the only one for him for almost 11 years. 

Eddie peppers kisses across his boyfriends chest, his neck, his jaw. Richie sighs contentedly at the contact, rubbing his hands across Eddie’s waist. 

They lie there for some time, revelling in each other’s company. It strikes Eddie that all feels so natural. Their dynamic hasn’t changed, they’re still best friends who tease and wind up and poke one another, except now Eddie can kiss Richie to shut him up, run his hands through that stupid hair that’s always driven Eddie wild. They’ve always belonged to one another. 

Eddie feels an involuntary slough of tears begin to prick at his eyes. He doesn’t want to lose this. But it’s kinda inevitable that he will. He’s going to NYU in only a couple months. He’s excited to leave Derry but he’s gonna miss Richie so fucking much. He lets his tears fall and alerts Richie when they splash onto his chest. 

“Baby, why are you crying?” His eyes are full of concerned devotion and only serves to push more tears out of Eddie. 

“I’m gonna miss you so much.” Eddie doesn’t need to elaborate. Richie has been thinking the same thing. 

Richie holds him tighter, brushing Eddie’s hair back and kissing his hairline once again. 

“I’m gonna miss you too, my love. So so much. But we’re gonna make this work Eds.” He sounds sincere, he has every intention to stay with Eddie even after they’ve moved away from Derry. Eddie wants to share his boyfriends unwavering optimism but the anxious bubble in his chest gets the better of him. 

“How? We’re gonna be miles and miles apart Rich and Mommy will want me home every school break.” 

His eyes fill with fresh tears, the only reason Eddie has survived this long in Derry, survived a killer fucking clown, was because he had Richie, and the other losers of course, but his special bond with Richie has always gotten him through everything. He has the kindest most beautiful heart and Eddie knows he can never find anyone he loves as much as he loves Richie. 

Richie isn’t phased at all though, he continues on determinedly. 

“Eds we will make a plan. I’ll come every other weekend if I have to. I love you and I’m never letting you go. I’m in this for the long haul, baby.” He flashes Eddie a typical Tozier grin, bit his eyes reveal that he means every single word. 

“Rich...” Eddie starts but Richie kisses him to shut him up and even in the midst of his state of anxiety, it’s heaven kissing Richie and he deepens it considerably. 

“We have time to think about this.” Richie says once they break apart. “Don’t you upset yourself baby. I’m with you now. I’ll wait for you forever if you need to be wild and single and free in college. But you’re it for me Eds.”

Eddie cries at that, he feels exactly the same. As if Eddie would want to be with anyone else. Richie is it for him too. Eddie opens his mouth to speak but Richie  
isn’t finished yet. 

“I know that might be too forward or whatever but I don’t care... Eddie, baby. You’re the love of my life and we could be separated for a thousand and twenty seven years...” 

Eddie finds himself laughing at that. 

“That’s very specific.” He giggles and Richie looks delighted at his mood shift. 

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m being romantic.” He grins, kissing him. “The point is. I’m yours. Forever. You’re stuck with me as long as you want me even if we don’t talk for decades I know we will come back to each other one day. We were made for each other.”

They stare at each other for a long time, hearts beating against each other’s chests. Eddie never thought they would have even this ... and now he knows Richie truly loves him, he wants to spend his life with him.....Richie wants to be his partner in life, his true lover, his husband ... if that was ever possible. One day. Eddie found himself thinking. One day the world will let me marry this man. 

“God Rich.” He breathes, cupping his face in his hands. 

“What?” Richie still looks nervous - perhaps still doubting that Eddie reciprocates those feelings. Eddie decides to wash away any doubt his boyfriend could possibly have. 

“I am SO in love with you, shithead. I’m yours too, Rich. As long as you want me.”

Richie kisses him for a long moment before smirking against his lips, before dragging his lips to Eddie’s neck, sucking and biting the spot he now knows drives him crazy. Eddie gasps, feeling himself growing more aroused by the minute. 

“How long till Sonia makes you go for your morning jog?” Richie whispers close to his ear before biting the lobe, eliciting a tortured groan from Eddie. 

Eddie quickly glances at his alarm clock. 

“Forty-five minutes...?” He gasps as Richie boldly cups Eddie where he most needs him. 

“Do we have time for round four?” 

Eddie laughs, nodding and before he knows it, Richie is flipping them so Eddie is on his back with Richie on top. Their lips lock together and Eddie forgets all his fear and anxiety. He has Richie now, and that’s all that matters. 

They’ll find a way to be together no matter what. 

Right now he just focuses on the sensation of Richie holding him, touching him, loving him and gives in to the pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may consider writing a 27 years later sequel to this but idk we’ll see.

**Author's Note:**

> So... I'm not sure this is my best work by any means but I enjoyed writing from Eddie's perspective a LOT. I love those boys so much and I will write them for as long as people read my stuff. Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
